‘True service rests contented in hiddenness. It does not fear the lights and blare of attention, but it does not seek them either. Since it is living out of a new Centre of reference, the divine nod of approval is completely sufficient’. (Richard Foster)
Our work in the West End of San Antonio in Ibiza was centered around service – serving those around us in very practical ways. I felt clear in how to serve there because I understood who I was serving and why I was serving them. The image of foot-washing was one which epitomised the why and how of all that we did. This outward expression naturally impacted and shaped my internal disposition to serve and taught me a lot about what service requires.
Thinking about service in my current context, the application seems less obvious and attainable, when service is not my job description (or is it, as a stay-at-home Mum?) and is not demonstrated in defined tangible activities. This month’s focus encouraged me to address the internal dimension of service – the attitude of my heart towards others, my resistance to some forms of service to some types of people, my addiction to serving the needs of myself as priority.
Serving in Ibiza felt easier in some ways because serving others was what I was there to do, and the service of others was often time-limited and performed in the context of community, with a clear purpose and reason. Of all the night work helping people to safety, I only remember a handful of situations from 5 summer seasons – hiddenness was part of the deal that I chose gladly. But in my current context, hiddenness isn’t an option – it’s an ongoing life stage, which I engage with mainly alone. Most of my activity and investment happens within the four walls of home, and into one small person. It’s this context when the felt need to not be hidden rears its head and the grind of nappy changing, dishwashing, play-grouping service is felt with a kick. Retraining in service in this new context challenges who I think is worthy of my service and who isn’t and reveals a desire to measure and qualify service. I feel in more need of forbearance, patience, and the fruit of the Spirit in a relentless and daily grind way; this service cannot rely on energy, effort or enthusiasm alone.
It has always ticked me off when people say that ‘you’ve got to look out for number one’ – it goes against the grain of the way of the Servant King and practically doesn’t even make much sense. There is a fear in service, that we will be taken advantage of; I realise that part of my fears and reluctancy to serve God is the thought (untrue but tempting to believe) that He may take advantage of my willingness also. Putting my ability to serve to the test reveals my ability to trust God – the two seem to go hand in hand. Meditating on the servanthood of Jesus has been the key to softening my heart to service; He came not to be served, but to serve. And the relationship between Himself and the Father reveals the loving and faithful trust and commitment required and available to enable the serving of the other.
Colossians 3v23 says ‘Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…’, and this is the reminder I needed which enables indiscriminate and ongoing service – that in serving those around us, we serve Jesus. This removes the need or right to define who to serve and for what reason, freeing me to serve contended in hiddenness and satisfied that the Divine Nod is guaranteed if I am making it my aim to please Him.
Interestingly, I have found myself also on the other side of service this month – I have experienced many moments of being served myself. A growing pregnant bump in the middle of a house move with a toddler has meant that I have needed help and support – especially practically and financially. Interestingly I have really struggled to accept my limitations and receive the service of others at times, feeling a need to manage by myself – a window into the pride that still exists in me. But I have also learnt a lot from the service of those who have given in various ways, especially that of Charlie, who has worked tirelessly in making our new house suitable for our family. He has modelled such service in seeking to meet our needs above his own, which has drawn our family together in a whole new way. I have noticed an increased grace, gratitude and understanding between the three of us, and I feel like his tireless service has been instrumental in bringing these changes in us about.
Service: it flourishes in hiddenness, bears fruit of thankfulness, strengthens our understanding of how to trust God with ourselves, and is the foot-washing way of Jesus which He commissions us to go and likewise do.
Image: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/418694096578416856/
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