It is better in prayer to have a heart without words, than words without a heart’. (Gandhi)
Professor Mehrabian conducted the study which produced results claiming that only 7% of our communication happens verbally – so 93% of communication is made through non-verbal means – body language and tone of voice. We all know that often its not what is said but how it is said, that communicates the message behind the wording. Some of the most meaningful ways of communicating in our closest relationships are through ‘that look’, ‘that smile’, ‘that tilt of the head’, ‘that hand on the shoulder’. Its interesting that the way we communicate with humans is with so much more than just words, and yet when it comes to God, we seem reticent to engage with prayer in any way other than through words.
Now when I pray I create movements in my mind. I push my attention towards a person or situation. I spend a lot of my prayer time simply sitting with God thinking and listening while we exchange pictures of what we would like to see happen – co-creating. (Nate Foster)
In recent years the way I have found myself praying has changed significantly. In part that has been due to increased time pressure with busy jobs and young children. But mainly, it has been the result of arriving at a place where I don’t feel I have to inform God about everything. When I pray, I tend to hold the person, the situation, the issue before God and wait. Sometimes I don’t sense God speaking, but at other times, I do – the still small voice, a word or phrase, or my thoughts being shaped in a certain way.
Sometimes I find using the ‘palms up, palms down’ prayer effective – this means simply opening my hands with my palms upwards, as a way of expressing my need of God and presenting requests before Him, and putting my palms down as a way of submitting to God and bringing confession before Him. The actions could be used to symbolise other prayers – prayer for others, surrender, thanks giving…
I have at times held a small cross (which came off a necklace!) in my hands when I have gone to meet with someone, or have had to have a difficult conversation. Holding this cross, I place Jesus in between myself and whoever/ whatever I am facing. A simple act that keeps my heart in a place of trust and mindfulness of Jesus’ presence in my circumstance, a wordless prayer for help in a time of need.
It’s not that words aren’t important in prayer – they are! In some ways for me, this style of personal prayer has meant that the words I do pray become even more significant. It has also provided a way to move closer to praying ‘without ceasing’. It’s the ‘deep calling to deep’.
Sometimes to cloak the prayer of the heart with words seems to smother the simple, honest connection between our hearts and Gods. But there are times where words are necessary, important, much needed vehicles of communication with God – and I have found some of the most beautiful, thoughtful, Biblical and inspired prayers (outside of Scripture) to be found in the form of liturgy.
Many free churches have sadly lost this jewel in the crown of our Christian heritage. The liturgy available to us is crafted in such a way that the words we say intentionally move us collectively to greater connectedness to God. We would benefit hugely (in our gatherings especially) if we could return to liturgy that has proved sustaining and life-giving to Christians for centuries, with words that are Biblical and sound, beautifully crafted and engaging the heart and mind. The repetition over the course of weeks, months and years, allows these words to seep into us; the familiarity in our minds with the words allows our hearts to join with their meaning and reach up to God. We avoid over-speaking and yet we are summoned to speak. This can be brought into our personal prayer life also – even perhaps writing our own liturgy for each day – or using words that have been written already.
“I’m practicing the discipline of not having to have the last word’ (Willard).
May our praying happen in a way that means we pray more often, and change in whatever way is necessary for us to commune with God, becoming deeper, more trusting people.
** If you are interested in more creative ways of praying, I would recommend a book called ‘Return to Our Senses’ by Christine Sine.
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