If our community, or any Kingdom venture, is to grow and step out into the unknown, it requires a group of committed people bold and brave enough to take risks. And this is only possible when there is an environment of grace to fall back into. This is only possible when we feel accepted and treasured because of who we are, not how well we do or whether we are currently ‘succeeding’. We want to be a community where we accept another, not based on how intensely they pray, not on their method or style in the work, not on personality, not on how much time they have been with us, and not on age. We want to cultivate an environment of grace.
“An environment of grace is a safe place in which people are encouraged to live out the dream God has for them.” (Choose The Life)
When acceptance is performance-based, people will hide and play it safe rather than take risks (CTL)
So what is it that creates an environment of grace? Over recent years, and especially in our time in Ibiza, there have been a few key things that have emerged for me, in starting a journey of cultivating an environment of grace, and I’m going to reflect on 4 of them here…
There is no inner ring…
One of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside’. (Lewis)
C.S. Lewis talks about the concept of an ‘inner ring’ …I imagine that in every group of people, there exists an inner ring. It is to do with belonging, and not belonging, and the subtleties that signify that in community. It’s hard to describe, but easy to identify when we experience it. I imagine there is one in most of our groups, and I hope that we can dissolve them slowly as we grow together. Lewis describes it as this:
‘It is not printed anywhere. Nor is it even a formally organised secret society with rules which you would be told after you had been admitted. You are never formally and explicitly admitted by anyone. You discover gradually, in almost indefinable ways, that it exists and that you are outside it, and then later, perhaps, that you are inside it. There are what corresponds to passwords, but they are too spontaneous and informal. A particular slang, the use of particular nicknames, an allusive manner of conversation are the marks. But it is not constant. It is not easy, even at a given moment, to say who is inside and who is outside. Some people are obviously in and some are obviously out, but there are always several on the border line.’ (Lewis)
In the whole of your life as you remember it, has the desire to be on the right side of that invisible line ever prompted you to any act or word on which, in the cold small hours of a wakeful night, you can look back with satisfaction? If so, your case is more fortunate than most. (Lewis)
Our desire to be accepted and to belong can drive even the most measured of us to extremes, or at least alter our true selves to propel us closer towards the inner ring. In practice, that looks like staying up later even though you are exhausted, for fear of missing out on an ‘in joke’. It means that you make decisions about how you spend your money, or who you beeline to walk to, in an effort to be included, or at the very least, to avoid exclusion. It means you laugh at some people’s jokes, and roll your eyes at others. You get the picture.
Of all passions the passion for the Inner Ring is most skillful in making a man who is not yet a very bad man do very bad things (Lewis)
The quest for the inner ring will break your hearts unless you break it (Lewis)
Have you ever thought about the inner ring that was dissolved by the Apostles? I think their welcome of Paul demonstrates beautifully how important it is for us to be inclusive, especially of people who are different and who make us nervous…Galatians 2 (6-9) shows Paul explaining how he was accepted by the apostles. He says
‘And from those who seemed to be influential (what they were makes no difference to me; God shows no partiality)—those, I say, who seemed influential added nothing to me. On the contrary, when they saw that I had been entrusted with the gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been entrusted with the gospel to the circumcised (for he who worked through Peter for his apostolic ministry to the circumcised worked also through me for mine to the Gentiles), and when James and Cephas and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given to me, they gave the right hand of fellowship to Barnabas and me, that we should go to the Gentiles and they to the circumcised’.
An unlikely addition to the group, a man who would undoubtedly make the rest of them feel nervous, a plethora of dynamics and trust issues to be negotiated…Can you imagine if the apostles had not dissolved their inner ring to allow Paul and Barnabas to join them? Can you imagine if they had preferred exclusivity and the pseudo-security of being ‘in’, to inclusivity, welcome to someone with a different calling and security in God who gives grace to each? I wonder how differently the gospel would/ wouldn’t have spread? I wonder how different our Bibles would have been, with none of Paul’s writings in it? Perhaps in some way the spread of the gospel was dependent on the unity of the believers and the welcome they extended to Paul and each other.
In short, Jesus moved the emphasis from God’s holiness (exclusive) to God’s mercy (inclusive). Instead of the message ‘no undesirables allowed’, he proclaimed, ‘in God’s kingdom there are no undesirables’ (Philip Yancey)
This was as much true for Paul and the Apostles, as it was for the Jews comprehending acceptance of the Gentiles. This is as much true in approaching each other, as it is welcoming and including those whom we are surrounded by.
2. Vulnerability
Trust is built on integrity; integrity is a commitment to truth regardless of circumstances (Hull, CTL)
I would sum this up as vulnerability, or perhaps more accurately, woundability.
In order to cultivate an environment of grace, we must grow trust; if trust is established all the more through truthfulness in all circumstances, we must explore what it means to be vulnerable, for not all circumstances make telling the truth easy, and in fact some will require a great deal of vulnerability.
Grace will grow as we each take the risk of being wounded, of being vulnerable. It is a risk to be honest, and it is a brave thing to be truthful with a group of people who are capable of wounding you.
But let us be a community who agree, that if a member bravely shares a truth, that they will not be judged or remembered for that truth. Their value does not change in light of that revelation and their experience of belonging in the group isn’t tainted through the responses of others to that truth. What if that truth offered could be met with gentle, loving truth, drawing out further truth, encouraging an engagement of the vulnerable self, allowing that self to be loved, listened to, encouraged and known at a core level. Surely that would create an environment of grace, a safe place for a sharing of real life, with hard truths, with brave steps of vulnerability, with a fierce commitment to having no inner ring, and a constant resolve to encourage and value each other, even in the bleakest of moments.
What does this look like for us?
Maybe it means that when we ask round the circle for what we want prayer for, we are a little more honest…maybe that would be possible if we knew that everyone else was being as truthful as they were able instead of meeting a requirement.
Maybe it means that we confront each other when we have hurt or upset another – speaking words of truth, in love, so as not to let bitterness harbour, and in our woundability to act in integrity, in all circumstances, and grow trust amongst each other.
Maybe it means that its ok to dissolve in the prayer room, or in our meetings, or in each other’s company – that when we lack bravery or need to express a shadowy side of who we are, we can do so knowing that we will not be judged and thought of as being weak or less experienced, that we will not be pushed out of the inner ring or lose respect from others, but as a whole human being we trust that we are loved and valued for who we are, and are encouraged to express ourselves as wholly as we are able to. This is a level of honesty that most of us are yet to reach in our communities.
3. Encouragement
Fear and a lack of trust are Satan’s bread and butter. But remember that there are 360 ‘fear nots’ in Scripture…(Hull, CTL)
Encouragement is so important – that those in our communities would be ‘encouraged to live out the dream God has for them’. It seems to me that praise is crucial here…
When we start by praise and thanksgiving, we are collectively recognizing that none of this is our own doing, and that no-one is god is except God. In our act of offering praise to God, and outwardly, collectively recognizing God for who he is, we realign our perception of who God is, and who we are. This helps in community…when our mission is shaped by an attitude of thanksgiving, gratitude, and praise, so is our community. So much of this boils down to ‘you and I are not God’!
It is not the effect of discouragement, but the lack of encouragement, that is so difficult to live with. In my opinion, a community void of encouragement, will struggle to survive. From a place of recognizing that God is God and we are not, knowing who we are, safe in God and free from a need to be God, we are released to be encouragers!
Isaiah 35 v 3
Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not!
It is so important to speak out truth and encouragement – it doesn’t make the truth more true, but it keeps the truth more central in our community and is important in the process of moving from fear to faith.
We wash feet.
For me, over the last few years, the washing of feet has been a reminder to, and a symbolic act of, cultivating an environment of grace. When we arrived in Ibiza it was the picture we felt God gave us as the model of leadership He wanted us to imitate as best we could.
The feet of travellers, as they walked in their sandals, would collect dirt and dust off the road. It was a real display of love and care for someone to refresh them by washing their feet.
Jesus’ own awareness is also an important part of the context of the footwashing. He knew that the Father had put all things under his power (literally, “into his hands”) and that he had come from God and was returning to God (v. 3). Here in Johannine language is the description of Jesus’ identity in his relation to the Father. This knowledge does not simply give Jesus the security to wash the disciples feet—his sharing in the divine essence is what leads him to wash their feet. Jesus said that he only does what he sees the Father doing (5:19), and this footwashing is not said to be an exception to that rule. John’s introduction to the event ensures that we understand God’s glory is revealed in Jesus in this sign. This is what God himself is like—he washes feet, even the feet of the one who will betray him! Thus, the footwashing is a true sign in the Johannine sense, for it is a revelation of God. (Commentary on John, Stott)
The way we lead and the way we serve each other will be part of God’s revelation of Himself to the watching world. It is a decisive commitment to leadership and servitude the way Jesus calls us to; for those who lead to do so by serving, encouraging, preferring and loving. By washing someone’s feet, we allow the nit and grit, the personal and vulnerable to be touched and transformed in love and kindness.
Having taken off his outer garment, Jesus was left with his tunic, a shorter garment like a long undershirt. Slaves would be so dressed to serve a meal. Jesus tied a linen cloth around his waist with which to dry their feet, obviously not what one would expect a master to do. (Commentary on John, Stott)
Jesus actively did something and adjusted himself to be able to serve. What do you and I need to actively and intentionally do – spiritually, emotionally, mentally or practically – to serve others in our community, especially those we are leading?
A level of intimacy is involved in these cases, unlike when Gentile slaves would do the washing. In Jesus’ case, there is an obvious reversal of roles with his disciples. The one into whose hands the Father had given all (13:3) now takes his disciples’ feet into his hands to wash them. (Commentary on John)
Serving each other and building relationships modeled on Jesus requires greater intimacy, honesty, vulnerability and a greater level of trust.
While they are reeling from this embarrassing event, Jesus spells out the implications for their own lives of what he has done: Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you (vv. 14-15). What does Jesus have in mind?… The cleansing and the further foot-washing are symbolic of the revelation that Jesus gave of the Father, and thus the disciples are called upon to embody this same revelation. The disciples are to pass on the same teaching that he, their teacher and Lord, has done by conveying as he has, both in word and deed, the selfless love of God . The community Jesus has brought into being is to manifest the love of God that he has revealed through serving one another with no vestige of pride or position. There will be recognized positions of leadership within the new community, but the exercise of leadership is to follow this model of servanthood. (Commentary on John, Stott)
No pride, no position, but service – this is not optional for us! This is what we are called to! And ‘the greatest among us shall be as a servant’ – this applies especially in cases of leadership. It is how we teach others who Jesus is – we do as He did, and He calls our attention specifically to this event in our modelling of Him.
None of this is easy…often, it is challenging and complicated.
Often with our teams we have washed each others feet, as a symbolic act expressing to God and to each other that we want to pursue the cultivation of this environment of grace. Everyone’s feet get washed, regardless of what their feet are like – and for some, that might require vulnerability – to let their feet be touched, to not be embarrassed of what the other person might think. And as we do that we pray for the person we are blessing, speaking encouragement to them. As we wash each other’s dry and dusty feet, we ask God to teach us how to do that in all areas of life as a community, that we would always be a source of blessing and safety to each other, that we would cultivate an environment of grace, in order that we might be able to pursue and live out the dream that God has for us.
(This is a working draft…)
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